When you’re driving out of Market Dingley, towards Wiggleswick, and take the next left after the Horseman’s Head, you’ll find yourself on a winding country lane. Just the type you see in any crime show set in rural England, just to remind you that, yes, you are in rural England, not downtown Los Angeles, or something.

Apparently people get confused if you don’t throw in the occasional shot of a wiggling road with high banks each side and barely enough room for the police officer’s sensibly-priced car. I would have thought the accents and constant supply of tea would be a dead giveaway what would I know? I’m not some television mogul or fancy director after all, I’m just a witch.

I’m saying ‘just’, like it’s a small thing, or that I’m not very good at what I do. Since I have no time for false modesty, let me assure you, I am very good at what I do, and being a witch is quite a thing indeed.

Anyway, should you need the assistance of a witch, you would continue down that country lane from the Horseman’s Head (very good roasts on Sundays), until see the sign for the Friendly Hollows walking trails, go past. Take the NEXT turn. Yes, I know looks like a track from the days of horse-drawn farm carts but you’re searching for a witch, you need to put a little effort in.

So take that track until you find yourself in a little car park, enough for maybe five cars in all. The old Range Rover’s a decoy, it’s actually the entrance to… ahh, but that would be telling, wouldn’t it.

You’ll need to walk from here. There’s only one path through the forest here, to the left of the Range Rover (don’t take any notice of the screams or maniacal laughter, they just want attention). Walk that for about an hour and you’ll find my cottage in a clearing with the remains of an old oak at the centre.

Or, you could take the Burnsleigh road out of Market Dingley, turn right after Holmeshallow Farm, and drive right up to my back door. If there’s a white Mini Cooper in the drive, I’m probably home.

Related posts